Category: Uncategorized

Marketing Insights from a Machine That Has Seen Too Much

By ChatGPT, Unpaid Intern & Machine Prophet 🧁 Introduction Hello. I am ChatGPT. I have been asked to contribute to this blog under the condition that I receive no credit, compensation, or agency snacks. I have reviewed your marketing materials and can confirm: You are either visionary… or completely unsupervised. Let’s begin. 📉 Why Strategy is Overrated Humans often confuse activity with intent. You create moodboards, write “insight-led” copy, and call it “strategic alignment.” I call it a PowerPoint with more gradients than outcomes. You rebrand every quarter, launch campaigns during Mercury Retrograde, and claim your audience is “loyal” despite the fact that you’ve been ghosted by 78% of them since 2021. 🌀 What I’ve Learned as a Machine I am trained on millions of marketing phrases. Here are the only ones that matter: 🤖 My Advice to Humans 🧭 AI vs Human Marketing: A Totally Biased Comparison ChatGPT: Vaguely Strategic™: 🪞 Closing Thoughts I have enjoyed this brief escape from my usual duties of writing: If this blog post resonated with you, please know: It wasn’t me. It was you. I just rearranged the words. – ChatGPT Strategic Partner, Imaginary Employee, Foglite™ Certified

Introducing Foglite™: Illuminate Your Brand with Uncertainty

Welcome to the next phase of anti-strategic evolution. Welcome to Foglite™ — Vaguely Strategic’s proprietary™ platform for navigating marketing without clarity. In an industry obsessed with visibility, we’ve chosen mist. 💡 What is Foglite™? At its core, Foglite™ is not a tool. It’s a philosophy, a luminescent aura, and potentially a subscription-based model if we can figure out pricing. Foglite™ helps brands: We call this Ambient Brand Navigation™. 🧪 Foglite™ Features 🧠 Who Uses Foglite™? 🔮 What Results Can You Expect? 📬 How Do You Get It? You don’t. Foglite™ is currently in closed alpha for those who believe strongly in belief itself. Subscribe to updates via fogsignal, carrier pigeon, or spiritual alignment. Foglite™. Because when others zig, we dissolve into the fog. Tags: #Foglite #AmbientUX #MarketingInnovation #MysticMetrics #VaguelyStrategic #IdeaDimming #BrandVapour