Dee Thistlethwaite
Chief Imagination Thief
MA (Marketing by Association), NepoHouse of Influence™
Dee rose swiftly through the marketing ranks by mastering the lost art of appearing invaluable while doing almost nothing original. Known internally as the “Queen of Attribution,” she built her career on a simple principle: if you say it first, you get the credit—even if someone else thought it.
Armed with a sharpened highlighter, a stack of recycled pitch decks, and the confidence of someone who’s never been challenged, Dee has taken credit for:
14 award-winning taglines (none of which she wrote)
A strategic model copied from a whiteboard she walked past
Several intern ideas that she rebranded as “intuition”
Dee now oversees all high-level vision theft and brand “reinterpretation.” She’s rarely seen without her monogrammed clipboard and an expression of vague approval. A proud Thistlethwaite, she attributes her success to legacy, lashes, and LinkedIn filters.
Head of People
Clive Mugson
Our Human Resources department is proudly represented by a branded mug that hasn’t moved since 2011. With “HR DEPT” emblazoned across its front in bold, fading letters, it stands as a silent witness to countless ignored complaints and spectacularly unresolved conflicts.
Clive’s leadership style is described as “non-confrontational to the point of nonexistence,” and his core responsibilities include holding lukewarm tea, absorbing passive-aggressive energy, and reminding staff that someone, somewhere, once mentioned wellbeing
Director of Margin Stacking™
Brayden Thistlethwaite
A third-generation Thistlethwaite and first-generation intern who never left, Brayden was promoted 11 times in one week during the Great Rebranding of 2018. His title, “Director of Margin Stacking™,” was invented mid-meeting and has remained undefined ever since.
Brayden’s professional strengths include scheduling recurring syncs, rewording other people’s ideas with added italics, and disappearing just before project deadlines. He’s best known for his uncanny ability to “circle back” so hard that entire initiatives collapse in on themselves.
Senior Everything Officer
Marla Chen
Marla joined Vaguely Strategic™ on a three-day freelance contract in 2017 and has somehow been doing everyone’s job ever since. Not officially part of the Thistlethwaite lineage, she remains the only person in the building who understands how the printer works, what the clients want, and where the passwords are stored.
Despite having no formal title, she’s the first to arrive, the last to log off, and the reason any project gets delivered at all. Her hobbies include fixing broken processes no one else will admit exist, translating Brayden’s “thought clouds” into actual briefs, and maintaining a colour-coded spreadsheet titled “Things I Shouldn’t Have to Do.”
More People here……………..