We're not always hiring, but the org chart is always vaguely shifting, and someone always vaguely resigns around the equinox. If one of the roles below speaks to you — or speaks at you, which is more our house style — we'd love to hear from you, ideally before Jupiter moves again.
Representative of the sort of work you'd actually be doing, rather than the sort of work a job description usually pretends is on offer.
A flat title covering everything from SEO to the Christmas card, which last year was hand-delivered to clients by a man dressed as the AI-Geo™ mascot for reasons nobody minuted. There is no marketing budget. This is not an oversight — internally it's referred to as zero-based marketing, and campaign success is currently benchmarked against the AI-Geo™ Spatial Resonance Index rather than anything a normal analytics platform would recognise.
The Marketing Manager has held the title for some years and has not, in that time, performed a marketing activity, though they did once correctly identify a font as “a bit shouty.” Weekly catch-ups take place standing up, for reasons never explained, and end when the Manager receives what they describe only as “a feeling.”
Frontline support for a business that generally believes IT should simply be quiet and working. The main server lives under a desk, is named Claudius, and has twice sent an all-staff email nobody authorised, both times about biscuits. Operates a strict one-password-for-everything policy on the grounds that it's easier to remember; this extends to the payroll system, the boardroom projector, and, as of last month, the building itself.
There is no IT Manager, as such. There are, however, at least three people in the building who each privately believe they're unofficially in charge of you, and a fourth who believes they're in charge of Claudius directly. Sales will ask you to fix their laptop. Claudius will ask you not to. You'll attend to both with equal, weary professionalism.
Our CRM was built in Lotus Notes, in a year nobody can quite agree on, and has since developed what the previous developer's handover notes describe only as “a personality.” It renames one field to something new and unhelpful roughly every quarter (current example: “Vibe Status”), and is, technically, still supported by IBM, in the sense that IBM has never explicitly said otherwise.
Managed, loosely, by whichever senior person last successfully opened the database without it crashing. This changes periodically, sometimes mid-meeting.
An entry-level position for someone with excellent Excel skills, which in practice means you own a calculator and are not afraid of it. You'll be gently introduced to the rhythms of the finance function, chiefly the rhythm of chasing an invoice addressed, for reasons lost to time, to a “Mr. D. Thistlewaite Esq.” who does not exist and has never worked here.
The Accounts Manager has a system, cannot describe the system, refers to it only as “the method,” and will know immediately, without checking, if you've deviated from it.
Complete the Strengthsfluence™ assessment and send us your results along with your CV. We read every application, eventually, usually once Jupiter has moved back into a favourable position.